LEAVE ME ALONE

When I am getting older and mature, I start to realize that it is not easy to say to people around me "Just leave me alone" even though I really want to do it. It is hard when I have to handle many problems in one time and feel that nobody really understand me and my terrible situation. Problems in the office, problems in the relationship, and fighting my fear about the future. Those make me headache and I need my own time to be with myself to think about everything, to control my emotion so I wont hurt people.

The problem is I am difficult to share my emotion and problem with others. And it means that I also dont know how to explain to them that I need to be alone. It is not because I dont need them. No, not at all. Because it is difficult to heal the broken heart among the happy and "nothing bad thing happens" people. When bad thing happens, I am broken. When I see every person around me is happy and I start to think that they wont understand my situation, I will be broken for twice. So what I exactly want for that moment is just distance.

Maybe I couldn't live without them. Maybe they are the best people I ever met. Surely they are the most valuable treasure I ever had. Maybe soon, sooner than this, I will be back to them. However, at least today, at least now, please.. just leave me alone.